Category: Uncategorized

Where Have I Been?

Hey, Everyone!

It’s been a few months since I last made an update here. I figured it was about time I filled you all in on what I’ve been up to.

A lot of what’s been going on in my life is deeply personal, so I’ll be sparse with the details; however, here’s more-or-less what’s happened since I last wrote:

I was told I needed to have a hysterectomy. The doctors and insurance spent most of the winter preparing themselves (and me) for this event. Then, late last month, it turned out that I didn’t need the surgery after all (yay!!) and I was set up with an IUD instead. This should, hopefully, stop my menstrual cycles from bleeding me into anemia each month. I’m looking forward to not being tired and weak all the time due to blood loss!

The IUD procedure triggered my PTSD. The procedure and pain of having the IUD rammed up into my lady bits caused something to “click” in my subconscious and I started having vivid rape flashbacks again. Ugh.

I’m now seeing a PTSD specialist to help fix my brain. I’ve been undergoing treatments with a PTSD therapist specializing in sexual trauma. It’s INTENSE stuff, but I have high hopes that it will help! I’m already feeling MUCH more positive. 🙂 One of the first exercises was to stop thinking of myself as a “weak victim” and start thinking of myself as a “strong survivor.”

I’m still writing and editing. I’m still working for Be a Freelance Blogger and 133T.

LittleZotz Writing won an award. My own writing website was listed as one of The Write Life’s 100 Best Websites for Writers. I’m honored! 🙂

I’m feeling a little “stuck” with my own writing. Writing for clients is “easy,” but writing for my own websites has been difficult. Do YOU have any suggestions for topics you’d like to see me cover…?

Anyway, that’s about it for now. Thanks for sticking with me!


Winning and Losing

Hey, Everyone!

I have been a huge “loser” the past couple months… And I couldn’t be happier!

I’ve lost a little over 70lbs since September!

I went from weighing 320lbs down to 255lbs. It feels AMAZING! Hitting 299 was one of the happiest days of my year. I’d been in the 300s for so long that seeing the scale show me in the 200s (even if it was high) was utterly fantastic.

I got myself a couple of new outfits (like the vegetable-print dress in the pic above) because my old clothes were getting really sloppy and loose on me. Not that I’m complaining! haha.

I also LOVE that I can wear high heels again. I had gotten so obese that, at one point, I put on a pair of heels and they snapped under my weight — sending me flying. Now, I have some nice super high wedges that I can strut around in with no problems.

Check out the difference to my waistline: (more…)

Getting Better

Hey, Everyone!

As some of you may already know, I’ve been having some problems with my health lately. Long story short: my stomach is effed. But I’m getting better.

I’ve seen several doctors as well as a nutritionist and, by way of medication and MAJOR diet changes, I’m on the mend. My stomach may never be “normal,” but I can at least live a life where I’m not throwing up each day and fearing that every meal I put into my body may send me into massive waves of pain. So hooray for that!

I took a week off from work to take care of myself — adjusting to my medications and my new diet — and I came back feeling refreshed. Though I was a bit shocked by how full my inboxes were upon my return! (Side note: If I haven’t replied to you yet, I will get to you! I’m answering everyone in the order they arrived…).

I spent my time off sleeping mostly. But I also had some nice bonding experiences with family and close friends. And I learned a lot about myself. It was a time of reflection and meditation, for sure.

I also lost 10 pounds! (more…)

Sick Then Pink

Hey, Everyone!

September has been kind of a rough month thus far. First, there was a huge fire in my area (the biggest in Los Angeles history!), and then I had a few health problems to contend with.

I developed a saliva stone in my left sublingual gland. Do yourself a favor and DON’T look up pictures of saliva stones on Google — super gross!!

The stone was excruciatingly painful. My options were basically “try the home treatment or go to the dentist to get it sliced out.” I went with the home treatment, of course. That involved drinking a massive amount of water, warm compresses, massaging the stone with my finger, and sucking on an ungodly amount of lemon drops (to stimulate the gland).

I was fortunate enough to pop that sucker out on my own without a dentist’s help. It was about the size of a long grain of rice. Which isn’t nearly as bad as some people get them, but, dang, it was SO painful.

Unfortunately, sucking on all those lemon drops wreaked havoc with my acid reflux and threw my stomach into fits. It started pushing acid up into my mouth and throat, leaving me with a TON of very painful ulcers. I had sores on my tongue, under my tongue, all over the insides of my mouth, and down my throat.

At one point, my tongue swelled up so big I couldn’t breathe and I had to take a trip to the emergency room! :O (more…)

Politics: Slightly Right…and Maybe Wrong?

Hey, Everyone!

In a recent post called “The Politics of Dolls,” I talked about some of my political/life views, and how I’m a “Slightly Right” conservative.

Since making that post, I’ve had a LOT of interesting conversations with people — many of whom are much older and wiser than I am (like my dad), and I’m now questioning whether I’m truly a “conservative” after all.

I know I don’t fit in with the modern Left. Their focus on cultural Marxism and identity and racial politics drives me right up the wall. I also don’t like all the thought and word policing that comes out of that side these days. The old school Left isn’t so bad, but the Lefties who are my age seem more focused on virtue signalling and calling everyone names than actually getting anything done — and I don’t dig that.

But I also don’t fit in with the Right as much as I initially thought. (more…) Glasses Review (Blue Edition)

Hey, Everyone!

Last year, sent me some free eyeglasses in exchange for an HONEST review of their product. I happily did so, and you can read my first review (which includes a detailed description of the buying process) HERE.

Those of you with an attention to detail may have noticed that I’ve worn my lovely hot pink prescription eyeglasses from ever since. I loved them. And I recommend to anyone I know who’s looking for glasses online. I even recommended them to my own father! They’re great. recently reached out to me AGAIN to write a second review of their glasses — since my first review was so awesome and brought them so much business — and I agreed. Their one request was that I bold their name whenever I mention it. Done and done! (more…)

The Politics of Dolls (My Grand Communications Experiment)

Hi, Everyone!

This entry is going to be very long, very personal, and filled with a ton of pics. Strap in.

After the 2016 election, I “came out” as “slightly right-wing.” I know. Gasp! Horrors!! A female conservative. Boo! Hiss!!

I ended up writing a post on my Facebook page that basically said (paraphrasing): “I’m a proud American, and I’d have supported whoever was elected. And while I don’t agree with everything President Trump says and does, I’m cautiously optimistic that he’ll do a good job.”

Not too unreasonable, right? Or, so I thought. I lost twenty “friends” immediately after posting that. Go figure.

Worse were the private messages (DMs) I received after posting that statement. One, in particular, said I was a “Nazi racist homophobe.” Ouch.

First of all, calling me a “Nazi”… I’m a quarter German, and I have relatives who actively fought AGAINST the Nazis in World War II. Saying that is an insult to me and what my family fought for. As for “racist,” that’s just balderdash. I have friends of all colors — always have, always will. And “homophobe?” My two best friends are gay! Not to mention, Jesus said to “love everyone.” Jesus didn’t say “love everyone…except the gays.” If He did, I doubt He’d be such a beloved person so long after His death. In my opinion, His message of love and acceptance was pretty clear, and included all of us.

However, admitting that I lean even slightly to the Right brought out a lot of skepticism from the people I thought I knew. I got messages like “I thought you were a good person: what happened?” Um…nothing. I’ve been on the conservative side pretty much my entire life. I just wasn’t open about it until recently. If you liked me before, you should like me now. Literally nothing has changed.

But, from there on out, nearly everything I said was met with private messages deriding me for my opinions.

Some people are just angry and unreasonable.” was met with “You’re a cunt and you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Some feminists seem to have forgotten what feminism is actually supposed to stand for.” was met with “You’re a disgrace to women.”

“I’m a Christian.” was met with “Then you must hate gays.”

“I’ve experienced racism.” was met with “That’s impossible. You’re white.”

And even super innocent, silly, statements like “Queen Latifah is a beautiful woman” were met with comments like “You’re a closet gay.” (Huh?).

It seemed like everything I said was either ignored or met with derision. Many people who had been chatty before were no longer so chatty. And it wasn’t just me; other “right-wing” friends were feeling the scorn as well. Even my leftie friends were starting to fight amongst each other, seeming to forget that we’d all gotten along previously.

It was depressing. It felt like everything was falling apart around me. I kept asking myself, “Why can’t we all just get along like we used to?” We weren’t all CLOSE friends, but, before, we’d all had just enough in common to be civil to one another. I wanted that back.

And then, recently, something changed… (more…)

I’ve Been Writing, You Just Can’t Read It (Yet!)

Hi, Everyone!

Those of you who frequent LittleZotz Writing probably think I’ve fallen off the face of the earth!

While I am having a KILLER mentoring sale over on my writing site, the blog definitely hasn’t been updated in a while. Sorry about that. Part of the reason is because I’m not sure what to write ABOUT — so feel free to send me suggestions!

The other reason is that I’ve been almost solely focused on client work, and that’s been keeping me busy.

I’ve also been putting a lot of time and effort into Lauren Vapes, my website where I post vaping thoughts and reviews. I’m particularly proud of my most recent post, Vape Nation: Your FREEDOM is at Risk! which details how and why certain groups of individuals are trying to get the vaping industry shut down. (At least check that one out for the killer illustration Ramiro Roman did for it!).

In other news, after four long years, I’m finally working on my second fiction novel!

Plot: Theresa Lamour is a professional tarot card reader and the owner of Tarot Theresa, a mystic shop.

When a series of murders occurs involving mystic shop owners, Theresa teams up with her ex-boyfriend, a professional rune reader, to solve the mystery.

I’m hoping to have this book finished by January of 2018. And Ramiro Roman already drew the cover for it, so now I simply GOTTA finish!

Unlike my first novel, this is NOT a young adult book, and, while humorous at times, it deals with more “adult” themes (like serial killers and characters who swear on occasion).

I love Theresa and already have the second book outlined, and have notes on characters for future books as well. Heck, I even bought myself a doll that looks a bit like her to keep me company on my desk, and keep me inspired, as I work. 😉

So, as you can see, I have been writing. You just can’t read it…yet.

In other news, thanks to my sponsorship from Fab Fit Travel, I’m officially under 300lbs! I now weigh 290lbs. Still a bit larger than I’d like to be, but it’s a start! If you missed my first “Fitness Diary” I wrote for them, you can read it HERE. Join me on my fitness journey!

And, of course, if you’d like to hire me as a writer, editor, or mentor, you can contact me through LittleZotz Writing. I’m always around. 🙂

Until next time,

No Cancer and Other Good Things

Hi, Everyone!

If you’ve been keeping up with my last two entries, you know that I’ve been struggling with my health — and that I was waiting to hear back from the doctors about whether or not I have cancer…

GOOD NEWS: I don’t have cancer!

All the test results came back negative. I have zero cancer! Woop woop!! I’m THRILLED about that.

Now, I just need to ditch the anemia and shrink the fibroids in my uterus, and I should be back up to snuff. 🙂 (more…)

Good News So Far!

Hey, Everyone!

First of all, thank you all for the huge outpouring of support and prayers after my last entry. I received so many comments, e-mails, texts, and phone calls — I was overwhelmed (in a good way). That meant a lot.

I have some good news!

It’s looking more and more like I will NOT have to get my uterus removed after all! Woop!!

The docs have stopped my period for a while (via drugs) in order to give my anemia a chance to go away, so I’m not freakin’ EXHAUSTED all the time. And, they think they can zap my fibroids/tumors with drugs as well.

I’ve been put on two very strong medications that will, with any luck, shrivel up the fibroids inside me. The docs said that my fibroids were still in the early stages and fairly small, so they have high hopes this will work. I’m going to get rescanned in three months for a progress check.

I really hope it works! My biggest fibroid is pressing into my bladder and it makes me have to leave my desk and go pee at a very frequent rate. It’s super annoying. And painful at times. I hate it. Bleh.

In the meantime, I’m still waiting to get the results back for my cancer test. I should find out in about two weeks. However, the docs have told me “not to worry” and that everything LOOKS fine (they used some funny binocular-looking things to take a peek inside me and didn’t SEE any weird lesions or anything). So that’s mostly good news, I’d say. I’m feeling much more optimistic than I was, that’s for sure! But it’ll be nice to hear the results and have TRUE peace of mind…

I’m really looking forward to not being tired and in pain all the time. I have a lot of projects I’d like to pay more attention to, and I’d REALLY like to go back to going to the gym…

Anyway, that’s all for now. Thank you again for all the love.

Until next time,